Lies We Tell Ourselves by Amy Matayo

Author:Amy Matayo [Matayo, Amy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Romance, Fiction
Publisher: SYG Productions
Published: 2018-09-19T16:00:00+00:00

ELEVEN

“It isn’t that I’m obsessed with him. I just want him back.”

“And you’re using another man to achieve what you want? I’m not sure that’s good for you, Mara. In fact, I’m positive it isn’t.”

I reach for a twist tie lying on my kitchen counter and wrap it around my thumb. I pull it as tight as it will go until end meets end, and then I unwind it and repeat. My therapist waits for me to respond on the other end of the line, but I stay silent a bit longer and work on turning the tip of my thumb purple. I called her because it’s been nearly a week since I posted my last photo with Micah, and I still haven’t heard from Bradley. I need to ramp up my efforts to make him see what he’s missing, but I need fresh ideas and I’m feeling desperate. My therapist takes after hours calls, at least from me. Maybe I’m her only client on the privileged list. Maybe because I’ve moved temporarily and can’t currently see her in person. All I know is she isn’t helping and I don’t like what she’s telling me, especially her condescending tone. I drop the twist tie and look around for the loaf of bread it came from.

“I don’t have any other choice,” I say, winding the tie around the bag of French bread and dropping it on top of the microwave. “How is he supposed to see what he’s missing if I don’t give him anything to look at?”

She clears her throat. “And you think the only thing worth him seeing is a picture of you with another man? What about posting one of your recent accomplishments instead? I know you’ve had a few. A new job, a new apartment, living in a new town…”

I chew the inside of my lip. I’m aware I’ve had recent accomplishments. My life is one big accomplishment and everyone knows it. But that isn’t the point. The point is, why was she always answering my questions with a question of her own? I hate it when people do that to me. It’s like they don’t have any ideas of their own, they’re just filled with the need to suck from the creativity of others. Didn’t she pay tons of money for her shrink degree? She should probably ask for a refund.

“Of course I don’t need a man for that. But isn’t that what makes men the most jealous? Seeing their exes with other men?”

“Well yes, but…”

Bingo. I’m right. That’s all I need to hear.

“Finally, you agree with me.”

She clears her throat. “In theory, you’re correct. But what I’m more concerned about is your focus. It needs to be on getting better. Not on returning to what was once a very dysfunctional relationship.”

“It wasn’t dysfunctional. I’ll admit it was a bit co-dependent…” I reach for an old Target receipt and tear off a corner. What’s wrong with needing another person? That’s all I did. I needed him. He just didn’t need me as much.

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